Long Summer Days

Today has been a really long day for some reason. It was a normal day, with the usual house work. Jazlynne has been on one today and that ALWAYS makes my day super loooooong! Even with her screaming tantrums, I love her so much. I can't believe how smart she is! Her vocabulary has grown immensely the last few month. It has been so fun watching her grow up, and even though she is still only two and a half, she seems so old to me! 

Kynzlee is the cutest little dolly! I am enjoying being her mommy so much and my love for her grows stronger and stronger every day. She will look around with the big blue eyes. So curious about her surroundings. She has recently started smiling and it's sooooo cute! It's funny how different it is raising a average sized baby compared to a preemie. I don't know if it's just because Jazlynne was our first or because she was so small, but it was so much harder when she was a baby! I don't worry nearly as much with Kynzlee. Jazlynne has been mostly good with Kynzlee lately, except for a few occasions. She has started asking to hold her all the time. So, we have her sit down on the couch and place Kynzlee in her lap. It's very precious! I love being a mother so much, but sometimes it is just plain exhausting! Today being one of those days. I could probably go to bed right now, (7:30) and sleep the rest of the night. 

Cbeeeeeeeese!!! 

Today has also been one of those days that I am missing Mom Turley so much. I would do anything to have a conversation with her. There is this giant empty feeling inside of me that can't be filled or mended. I really need to sit down and express my feelings to her. One thing we have been trying to do at least a few times a week, is to visit her graveside  After we have dinner we get the girls in their jammies and take a drive over to the cemetery. Each of us, (Craig and I) get out of the car and sit next to her grave. We take our time talking to mom and telling her all that we wish we could talk to her about. We express how much we miss her and love her. Then we all get out together and spend a minute around her grave. It is actually very therapeutic and comforting. But, unfortunately  nothing compares to her being here in person and having a conversation. I went through my storage closet yesterday and found her tote we put away of some things of hers. I opened it up and found two pairs of her shoes that she wore regularly, two sets of pajamas, (One being the pair she was wearing the last time I saw her) and some important papers of hers. I immediately could smell her. Yesterday I also came across a couple pictures of her and Dad Turley on his birthday last summer. Pictures I forgot I had, so that was nice to find. I hope it gets better, but right now, every day I have an empty feeling. 

As hard of a time as it's been, I feel we have been very blessed! One thing we have been praying about for months now, was to get a calling together in the primary. We had expressed this to mom since we moved into our new ward. Five weeks after she passed we were called. I think she may have had a hand in this, as well as many other things that has happened since her passing. We are so excited to start teaching again and look forward to this new calling! 

Tomorrow Jazlynne and I are going to get our hair cut. This will be Jazlynne's first haircut ever! I still want it long enough to pull up in a ponytail on hot days, but not so long that it's a pain to do everyday. Her hair is nearly to her waist right now. It can be a lot of work some days. Tomorrow I will post before and after pictures! :)