Under Pressure

Today Jazlynne had a review with the Up to 3 program to see if she still qualifies for their services. I was a little nervous because I always feel like she should be doing more. More communicating, more thinking, more problem solving. It goes on and on. I have decided there's way too much pressure on being a parent. Which in return, puts pressure on your child.

From the moment the child is born you have pressure to get them to the next step of development. There's holding the head up, the smiles, the rolling over, the tummy time. Then you have worries of eating solid foods, crawling, the first steps, first word. It's always hard when you hear someone with a child the same age as yours that can speak a million words or can run while your child is still crawling. I have decided there is way too much comparing in being a parent.

When Jazlynne was 18 months I remember asking our Up To Three coordinator if it was normal for Jazlynne to only know a couple words when I see kids her age almost speaking full sentences. I was very stressed over this. She told me the worst thing you can do is compare your child to other kids because every kid is different. It's very hard not to, but don't put yourself through it. Jazlynne was right where she should have been but I was just so worried about what every other kid was doing. Too much pressure. It's almost impossible as a parent to not stress over your child's development. You want them to hit that next big mile stone so bad!

So, Up To Three came today and gave Jazlynne her evaluation. Not only is she where she should be in all the aspects of development, she scored above where she needs to be on her development. Services will no longer be needed on her but they will keep her in a Catch Up program where they will periodically check up on her to see how she's doing and if her development is still where it should be. I feel like I was nervous over it when I really shouldn't have been. Worst case would have been they still come visit once a month and make sure we have goals we are working on. Not the end of the world.

Why is there so much pressure, so much comparison going on. Why do we feel like we are being judged if our child doesn't do something at the exact age we think they should be doing it at? Now that I am pregnant again I hope to relax a little more the second time around. I put so much pressure on myself and Jazlynne to get her to sleep through the night because I was so tired and miserable. Now I look back and regret not getting more out of it. Yes it's exhausting and even miserable at times but it only lasts for so long. Before you know it, that baby is hitting their terrible twos. So with the next baby I really hope to enjoy the sleepless nights more. Enjoy it while I can, it's such a short time.

I think being a mother is one of the hardest jobs in the world. We should be encouraging each other and showing love. We should stop comparing ourselves to others and how well their child can do something. Be proud of yourself for getting your child to where they are. I am so proud of Jazlynne and everything she has learned and is continuing to learn. I don't care where the kid down the street is at on the development charts. I am just proud of where Jazlynne has made it to. How everyday she learns something new and makes me smile. That's what matters. Childhood goes by so quickly, we should enjoy every moment of watching our kids grow. Not be stressing that it's not enough.
Take away the pressure. <3