Me. Being Vulnerable.

There is a post going around Instagram where you are supposed to put five to ten things about yourself. It gave me an idea for one of my blog posts. I will just write some things about myself that you may not know by looking at me.

 Although I was born in Logan Regional Hospital, I have lived in 21 different houses and been to 11 different schools throughout my life. This home being my favorite. It's in Hyde Park, UT. I lived there from kindergarten to the middle of third grade, when we moved to Missouri. 

 I have a love for peanut butter. I can't eat it really during my pregnancy because it gives me killer heartburn that feels similar to having a heart attack.

I know it may not seem like it, but I am extremely shy. I only let certain people in past a certain point. I have to really know you and trust you to let my guard down. Not something I'm proud of but something I have developed over the years of heartache.

My biggest fear is to die from cancer. Mostly I fear melanoma. I was an avid tanner since the age of 12 and would go daily at times. I had a baby, tanned for a few more months after she came home, and started to get scared about dying from skin cancer. I stopped tanning in June of 2011 and haven't been in a tanning bed since. I had nightmares every night after I stopped for eight months, before I went to the dermatologist. I am lucky (thus far) to have no skin cancer. I am learning to live with my pale self and will probably never tan again.

 I am not a fan of vegetables and the only time I eat them are when my husband cooks them and makes me eat them.

 I love HOT baths. They are the most relaxing thing to me. I don't get many of them anymore though.

 I decorate for Christmas the weekend before Jazlynne's birthday (November 17th) because we did the year she was born to us and it became a tradition.

 I have hated my nose my whole life. It was the thing I was the most self-conscience about. I was teased in elementary school because it was growing faster than my face was! The picture is from fifth grade. It is my worst school picture ever, so feel lucky you get to see it! I have started to not care as I have grown older though, because although I have a large nose, it makes me, me! 

 I collect dried flowers. I have about eight to ten vases of dried flowers through out my house. 

I was in a very naive, immature marriage when I was twenty years old. It only lasted a year and it was over long before that. My husband and I were both very unhappily married and I was trying to find myself and what I wanted out of life. I met Craig five months before I got divorced and he was a good friend and support system for me through it all. 

 I love the movie Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. It reminds me of being a little kid. My sisters and I would pick out which girl we wanted to be. We watched it so many times I remember my parents hiding it in the bottom of our Grandfather clock. 

 When I was a teenager my sister pierced my second and third hole in my ears with another earring. It hurt super bad! You hear the first pop, and then the second pop as it goes through the skin. I still have the holes but very rarely ever put an earring in them. 

I have never been to Disneyland or Disney World but would LOVE to go some day! 

 I consider Craig my first love because I never knew what love was until I fell for him. :) 

Even though I moved around a lot in life and had a very hard time making friends, I was blessed with three sisters. We had each other through everything growing up. We will always have a special bond with each other that no one will understand because for most of our lives, all we had were each other! 

The last job I had was at Ensign Toyota/Honda as a receptionist. My last day was on Halloween of 2010 when I decided to enjoy the last three months of my pregnancy. At which time I had Jazlynne two and a half weeks later. 

Ever since Jazlynne was born and spent time in the NICU I have had a fear of germs and her getting sick. Even now that she is bigger I have a panic attack in my head whenever we are somewhere and a kid near us is coughing. I don't like her playing where there is a large group of kids because I am scared she will get sick. Every week when she is in nursery I am nervous she is going to come home with some sickness. I sanitize her hands more than normal when we are in public places. It's really annoying that I have this phobia now but that is why we hibernate all winter long.

Something I am not so proud of, I used to drink. ALOT. The last alcoholic drink I had was on December 8th 2008 when I decided to grow up and change my life completely around. Craig was a major support system for me through it all. 

 My first car was an 1988 Mazda 626 and I loved it. I cried when it broke down for the last and final time. Still have a soft spot in my heart for it. 

 I have had three men in my life I consider a Dad. My mom and dad divorced at the age of ten. My Dad was very rarely around for many years after that and my mom dated a guy named, Craig Remsburg for about three years after that. (Through a lot of my junior high years.) He loved us girls very much and still tries to occasionally keep in contact with us. Then when I was fourteen my mom got remarried to Tom Brennan and moved us back to Cache Valley. I was raised by him through my high school years. They were married for around four years. He was my Dad during the tough years when you are a selfish teenager and the world revolves around you. So, I am very grateful for all the men I have had the privileged of having in my life as a father figure.  

I spent two days in jail when I was 19 years old for a minor in possession of alcohol. Worst experience of my entire life. Never ever want to go back there! 

 I HATE going anywhere without Craig. It's not that I am crazy, I just enjoy being with him so much and he is my best friend. I never feel alone with him. He always makes me feel good about myself so why not enjoy being with someone that makes you feel good!  

I HATE having fake fingernails. It's so annoying to me! I can't do anything with them. I am happy just painting my nails. 

My Grandparents are the most amazing people I have ever known. They always did what they could to keep us on the right path and keep the gospel in our lives. My grandma always knew what I was getting myself into and was always willing to help me out through tough situations in my life. My grandpa is the greatest male influence I have had in my life. He will be 82 this month and is still going strong. He never stops working on projects and doing what he can to help everyone out. I have no idea where I would be in life without their influence and I'm not sure I would want to find out! 

I currently love polka dots! 

I am hardly ever satisfied with my hair color. I can never get it the perfect color, I always want to change it just a little bit. 

I LOVE being a mommy to my little girl! (Soon to be girls!)

My favorite job I ever had was at Bell's Chevron because of the people I met and the experiences I had. Plus it was the coolest job ever! 

There is so much more about me but it would take forever to get it all down. So there are some things about me that I'm sure most people don't know. Somethings that I'm not proud of, somethings that are embarrassing and somethings that just make me who I am! I would not change a thing about me or my experiences. I have had many opportunities to grow in life and I'm very proud of the person I have become and will continue to grow to be in the future. 

Much Love! Thanks for taking the time to read this long post!